Star Fleet Alert
STAR FLEET ALERT
The true origins of Spam, known by many as "the mystery meat", has recently come to the attention of Star Fleet. Spam was developed by the Ferengis as a highly addictive substance by which they could control humans. Via the Whiggula Wormhole, the Ferengi went back in time and reached earth in the early 1940s, a time known as World War II. They sold large quantities of Spam to American and Allied forces and expected their control of Earth to be quick. Fortunately, much of Spam’s addictive quality was destroyed by the wormhole’s intensive gamma radiation. HOWEVER, BE WARNED: Star Fleet has learned that many Star Fleet officers display unusually high susceptibility to Spam addiction. In light of this, Star Fleet hereby recommends that all Star Fleet personnel limit their intake of Spam to not more than one can per week and under no circumstances should individuals consume Spam while alone. Early warning signs of Spam addiction are unprovoked exclamations such as “This is Spamalious!” or “Let’s Spamarama!” If, however, an individual should discuss combining Spam with chocolate, or even go so far as to consume such, immediate medical assistance is required.